Will the next Karl Rove please sit down?

Karl Rove addressing the 55th Biennial College Republican NationalConvention:

"Somewhere in this group is the next Karl Rove."

Seal the exits. No one gets in or out until we find him.

Got their com-uppance

QT 2004 Presidential Campaign Analysis and Update (cont'd):

The 10 major presidential candidates can now be found at:

www.georgewbush.com,

www.deanforamerica.com,

www.edwards2004.org,

www.dickgephardt2004.com,

www.grahamforpresident.com,

www.johnkerry.com,

www.kucinich.org,

www.joe2004.com,

www.carol2004.org, and

www.shartptonexplore2004.com.

The "coms" lead the "orgs" seven to three.

At the same point in the 2000 campaign, the "orgs" led the "coms"nine to seven.

The trend is apparent.

Anything for a vote

Those who type in the address of Gary Bauer's 2000 Republicanpresidential campaign Web site are now invited to click for instantaccess to raw sex, by the way.

Tongue-tied

News Headline: "Illinois Crackth Down on Tongue Thplitting."

Yeth. QT altered the headline. Thorry.

Proclaiming his ignorance

R.B., a Chicago reader, writes:

"The other day I saw a picture of President Bush signing one ofthose little American flags people wave at rallies. Wasn't itdisrespectful to turn the flag into a political souvenir? Wasn't iteven illegal?"

Yes. It is in violation of the federal flag code, which forbids"any mark, insignia, letter, word, figure, design, picture, ordrawing of any nature" to be placed on it.

The commander in chief, however, under the federal flag code, hasthe power to change the federal flag code, as long as the change is"set forth in a proclamation."

So it isn't a big deal.

He just owes the nation a proclamation.

The healing power of art

Supermarket Headline of the Month: "PAINTING OF SADDAM CURED MYHICCUPS."

Klings on to the past

From the official William Shatner Web site:

"Busy, busy Bill--"

Oh, be quiet.

Impressive output

From the QT Archive of Knowledge:

*It takes 10 dogs to make a Mongolian dog coat.

*Paris accumulates 840 pounds of dog droppings an hour.

*This is the last dog day of summer, by the way.

Bulow out the candles

Today's Birthdays: Claus von Bulow, 77; Jerry Falwell, 70.

Problem solved

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language (cont'd):

E.R., an Internet reader, e-mails:

"My brother asked me if I knew the term for a certain kind ofsentence. He gave me two examples. 'Ask not what your country can dofor you--ask what you can do for your country.' And: 'When the goinggets tough, the tough get going.' I told him that I was sure acertain Sun-Times columnist would know."

These are examples of antimetabole, which is a form of chiasmus.

Aren't you sorry you asked?

QT is at qt@suntimes.com.